Dirty Magazines and Sticky Fingertips
by TheBadHatter
Summary: Maka found some "magazines" in Soul's bedroom and their friends wanna know the scoop to get a laugh at his expense! One-Shot


**Dirty Magazines and Sticky Fingertips**

_It's a nice, if cloudy, day at Death City as Maka and Soul walked towards their waiting friends, though there's an uncomfortable silence between them. A fact that wasn't lost to any of the others, including Blackstar, because of the fact Maka was almost at an arm's length of 6 feet from Soul while he kept his head down as he marched the infamous "Walk of Shame." As soon as the two reached the friends, everyone immediately broke up into two groups made up of boys and girls._

As soon as the girls were gone Kid sighed, "Alright Soul, what did you do this time?"

"Yeah dude," Blackstar added, "I haven't seen a girl that pissed since that one time Tsubaki found my weed stash."

"That was last fucking week Blackstar," Soul snorted.

A concerned Kid asked, "How'd that turn out for you anyway?"

"Well after she noticed that both of her fists were bleeding from beating me," Blackstar explained, "She agreed not to dump my corpse in the river if I got a drug test once a week."

"I…See," a bewildered Kid stammered, "So back on subject, how did you piss Maka off Soul?"

"Why do you assume that it was my fault? No scratch that, why are you guys assuming that something happened!"

"Well it could be the fact that you're not even looking at _**us**_in the eye," Kid answered sarcastically.

"Because that's what you do Soul! In fact that's the reason why we all love you," Blackstar screamed.

Soul said, "Well, I guess that you can say Maka found…Um… _**My stash**_…

_At this moment Death the Kid and Blackstar were both looking at Soul like a deer-in-headlights. While Kid was still at a loss for words, Blackstar had no problem filling those words in for him._

"YOU SMOKE TOO," Blackstar screeched, "AFTER THE HEAT DIES DOWN FOR US, WE GOTTA BLAZE UP!"

Kid glared at him.

Soul retorted, "Dammit that's NOT the kind of stash I'm talking about!"

A disappointed Blackstar responded, "Oh, so you don't smoke?"

"Well, I didn't say that but we should probably talk later or Kid might start suggesting for surprise inspections," Soul laughed.

Kid half-jokingly said, "I think it's a little too late for that now."

"Hmph, whatever."

A confused Blackstar then asked, "So if it wasn't weed, what did she find?"

"Yeah, the only other kind of stash is…Oh," Kid realized

"Yeah," Soul confessed, "Which lead to the most awkward 68 minute discussion in my life… Why do they ALWAYS want to talk about it?"

Still lost Blackstar questioned, "Wait, what did she find?"

"SHE FOUND THE PORN I HAD UNDER MY FLOORBOARDS DAMMIT," Soul screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Wait," Kid chimed in, "how did she come across them if they were under your floorboards?"

Soul answered, "You see I had already gotten her mad before-hand when I called her "Tiny-tits." When she jumped to punch me and missed, her fist went through the floor… And when she pulled out her hand the magazines come out with them…"

_As hard as Death the Kid and Blackstar tried to be sympathetic towards Soul, they were only making him madder because it was evident that the two were holding back fits of laughter. Though they weren't trying very hard to hide it either._

"Fuck you guys… God this is _**so **_uncool," Soul muttered.

_Right on cue the girls came back after hearing Maka's side of the story, with none of them being able to look at Soul in the eye. Neither could Patty, though it was because she was in tears from laughter… A little bit of a different reason for why the other girls couldn't._

"Soul's gay, Soul's gay," Patty chanted with laughter.

Kid looked at his weapon questioningly and asked, "What's she talking about?"

Liz looked at Kid and said, "Maka found his magazines. Weren't you guys talking to Soul about it?"

Blackstar blankly stated, "Well yeah, but just because he had some porn? Even your GOD looks at nudie mags every now and again!"

Finally Maka screamed, "It wouldn't have weirded me out as much if it wasn't all GUYS!"

_Silence soon blanketed the group as everyone stared at Soul._

"It… It seems Soul forgot to mention that little detail," Kid said as he shifted uncomfortably.

Blackstar exclaimed, "Dude you were looking at FAG PORN!"

_Soul tried to defend himself, but all he was able to do was stumble as he strung a series of unintelligible words._

"Whatever man, I'll still light up with ya," Blackstar assured.

Soul managed a smirk.

"I'm sorry Blackstar what did you say? I think I heard you say something suicidal," Tsubaki said as see threateningly motion towards the poor ninja.

"Oh crap," was all Blackstar could muster before Tsubaki began her killing spree.

_No matter how much they could hope, everyone was pretty positive that this would be a day that they would never forget… No matter how hard they'd try. All they could assume was that Soul was out of the closet. Oh well, that's cool I guess._

**Hope you enjoyed this one-shot, it was… "Different" from what I usually do and this is about as close to smut as I've gotten so far… I wonder how low I'll reach for the bottom? Thank you for reading! Please favorite and/or review, so I can get better; also curious to see if I'm even talented at this kind of story!**


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